


Solace

by nocureforcrazy



Category: Castle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2302700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocureforcrazy/pseuds/nocureforcrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a difficult time, the two women find comfort in the other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Branching out again! Yay! :) So I'm slowly trying to start writing for each fandom I'm apart of. I don't know if I actually will do that because, well there is a lot. But we'll see.

Alexis paced back and forth in the living room. She had run up to her after the argument that took place between her and Beckett, slamming the door behind her before falling against it and letting her tears fall. Unfortunately, her room quickly became too small and she grew claustrophobic so she retreated back down into the loft’s living room.

She couldn't believe what had happened. It was supposed to have been a happy day, it should have been happy but then it all fell apart.

Her dad was supposed to finally be happy. He was absolutely glowing that morning, pure happiness radiated from him. Alexis couldn’t remember the last time she saw her father that happy.

That was the last time she saw him.                                           

She closed her eyes, but quickly regretted it. Every time she shut them, she kept seeing the wreck. The fiery red flames that ate away at her dad’s Mercedes.

When she, her grandmother and Jim had pulled up at the scene, she couldn’t believe her eyes. Her dad’s car was sitting in a ditch on the side of the road.

Somehow she got her fingers to work enough where she was able to open the car door and step onto the concrete. She was shaky on her feet; tears freely fell from her eyes.

She didn’t care enough to look anywhere at the scene than her father’s car. No matter what she did, she couldn’t focus on anything other than that.

She pulled herself out of the painful memory.

He wasn’t in the car. That much, she knew. It was all she had to hold on to. The silver of hope that things would work out in the end – that he was okay.

She was confused. Hurt. Upset. But she was mainly broken, lost and confused. She didn’t know what to do or what to think. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was a mess. A complete mess.

She found herself periodically glancing towards the study, where Kate had retreated after their less than friendly conversation. She had yelled and screamed at Kate, letting all of her frustration seep out. 

" _This is all your fault!"_

Looking back on it now, she felt bad. She wasn’t completely sure what all had been said, she hadn’t been paying much attention to what left her mouth. But she knew it hadn’t been pretty. While it was nice to be able to yell and blame someone for everything, it wasn’t Kate’s fault.

After a moment’s hesitation, she found herself walking towards the study’s door. Her hand hovered a few inches away from the wood before she finally decided to knock.

* * *

 

Kate stood in the middle of the office, staring down at the copy of _Heat Wave_ she held in her hands. She’d picked it up from the shelf but had yet to open it – she couldn’t bring herself to. 

She didn’t think she’d make it past the dedication – though she knew the dedication by heart.

_To the extraordinary KB and all my friends at the 12th._

Then again, she knew all of the dedications from the Nikki Heat books by heart.

She had picked up the book, trying to find some comfort in it. But she hadn’t. While his words used to be a comfort and give her strength; now they felt like anything but.

They just made her want the real thing.

She couldn’t have that at the moment.

He’d disappeared.

None of them knew what had happened to him or where he was. She knew he was alive and that his car was found on fire in a ditch. She desperately needed to find him, but there was nothing to go on. And that killed her.

The day was supposed to have been perfect.  

The sound of a soft knock and the office door slowly opening pulled her out of her reverie. She glanced up from the book she was holding to the redhead standing in the doorway.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Alexis said softly, shifting from foot to foot, her arms crossed loosely.

Kate titled her head as she stared at her. From all the years of interrogations, she could easily see how nervous Alexis was.

Her mind flashed back to the earlier argument shared between the two of them. Not much of an argument so much as Alexis shouting.

Kate had simply stood there while letting Alexis rant, understanding that the younger girl simply just needed to rant.

“Are you okay?” she asked the girl after an awkward silence had settled over the two of them.

“I just…” Alexis took a breath and slowly stepped into the room. “I feel bad about what happened earlier. I—“

“I understand,” she set the book on the edge of the desk before turning around. “It’s an emotionally tense time.”

“And I totally lashed out at you for no reason. It’s not your fault or any of ours for that matter,” Alexis protested.

“You’re dealing with a lot right now and you lashed out. There’s no harm done,” Kate replied.

Alexis thought for a moment. “How are you so able to be so understanding of me when I don’t even deserve it?”

“I was once a teenage girl myself; I know how it can be,” Kate told her with a small smile. “And you have every right to be a mess and to lash out. I know you don’t mean what you said.”

There was a moment of silence between the two, unlike before, it wasn’t awkward. The earlier tension was slowly disappearing from the room.

“I just wish we knew _something_ ,” Alexis said, eventually.

Kate nodded. “I know. So far, there hasn’t been much information, but give it time.”

“Do you think it’ll all work out in the end?”

“I’m not giving up until I find him, Alexis,” Kate said, firmly. “I will promise you that.”

“But what if we don’t find him?” she questioned, sadly.

Kate stepped close to the girl. “I know it’s hard but you can’t let yourself think that way. Don’t worry about the negatives, keeping holding on to that shred of hope.”

“Still...I wouldn’t know what to do without my dad,” Alexis said.

“And I’m going to do my damnest to make sure you never know what it’s like to lose a parent,” Kate told her. She wouldn’t let Alexis go through the same pain she had.

Alexis slowly nodded and a small smile crept up on her face.

Kate closed the distance between the two of them and wrapped her arms around the younger girl’s shoulders.

Alexis let her head rest against Kate’s right shoulder. “Thank you, Kate. For putting up with my attitude today and for everything else you’ve done for me.”

“Of course, Alexis. I made a promise to your dad and I plan to keep it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it's not the whole fandom, but I'm sure it's the majority of the fandom that does but I'm just going to say that I don't understand and will probably never understand all of the Alexis hate in this fandom

This is just something else that I could possibly see happening between the two of them. It probably won’t, but it’s still a nice scene nonetheless.

Alexis stood in the doorway of her father’s study, staring at the spot on his desk which held his laptop. No longer was the sound of clacking keys echoing through the loft – instead her ears were met with silence.

Seeing his empty desk, imaging the ghost of clacking keys caused her heart to ache. She missed him and desperately needed to know where he was.

_He’s alive._

_He’s out there somewhere._

_He’s going to come home._

She’d told herself that over and over again. Chanting it repeatedly in her head, not allowing herself to dwell on the what ifs or worse case scenarios. Everything Kate told her to do.   

At the moment, she lived for the older woman’s advice. Anything to help keep herself sane.

Her mind went back to the conversation she shared with Kate just last night.

_“I’m going to do my damnest to make sure you never know what it’s like to lose a parent.”_

She wasn’t going to lose her father. They were going to find him – they had to. If Kate’s tone was any consultation, Alexis knew that detective wouldn’t rest until Richard Castle was found.

Alexis stored all of her hope in Kate, knowing she wouldn’t let her down. She never had before – not at the bank, not with that innocence’s foundation case and not now.

Alexis had technically already lost one parent – Meredith was hardly ever there, she couldn’t imagine really losing her dad – the only person who had always been there for her. For everything.

She sighed. She realized that her mom basically abandoning her had had quite the effects on her. Of course, she’d never really talked about them to anyone before.

The sound of footsteps and her father’s bedroom door opening pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Kate standing in the other doorway, clutching one of her father’s shirts to her chest. The maroon one – his favorite.

The two of them had taken to carrying around one of her father’s shirts, trying to find a shred of comfort. Alexis had even slept in one of his old shirts last night in his bed along with Kate.

“It feels strange being in the loft without hearing all the typing,” Kate finally spoke, breaking the silence between the two.

“It does,” Alexis agreed. She wondered if— _when_ she’d hear that sound again.

She couldn’t bear the thought of being abandoned all over again. She shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. She needed to get this off her chest, get rid of this feeling. She took a breath. “Kate, can I talk to you?”

“Of course.”

Alexis slowly walked across the loft before settling into the couch, Kate following behind her. Alexis had both of her legs tucked under her and her hands resting in her lap. Kate tucked her leg under herself as she sat on the couch, turn slightly to face Alexis.

Alexis took another breath to try and calm her shaky nerves. She was nervous to voice this aloud, but she also knew it was probably for the best. She had so much already on her mind; she didn’t need anything more pressing her.

Kate reached across and took one of Alexis’ hands in her own. “If you need to rant, I’m here.”

“I feel like I’m going to explode,” Alexis started. “I know how yesterday you said not to worry about the what if’s, and I’ve tried avoiding the worst case scenarios. But I can’t help but wonder what will happen if dad doesn’t return or if Gram leaves. Or even if you leave…or.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kate said, cutting off the rambling girl. “And Martha wouldn’t either.”

“My brain knows that, but my heart doesn’t…I’m afraid everyone around me is somehow going to leave me and the fact that dad’s disappeared has only heightened that fear.”

Kate started rubbing soothing circles around the back of Alexis’ hand. “Where is all this coming from?”

“I’d be lying if I said I was completely fine with mom pretty much abandoning me when I was a kid. Sure she still comes around every once in a while, but it’s not the same,” Alexis explained, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek. “Since my mom left…I’ve always had this fear that everyone I get close to is going to leave. And I may have thought you would have left after I blew up at you like I did.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Alexis,” Kate told her. “I’m not going anywhere, even if you tell me you hate me and I am not going to rest until I find Rick.”

Alexis gave a small, sad smile. Kate had been the mother figured Alexis had needed – someone for her to look up to. A friend even. Alexis soon realized that Kate truly cared about not only her father, but her as well.

Alexis leaned across the couch until her head came to rest on Kate’s shoulder. An arm wrapped around her and the sleeve of her father’s shirt fell into her lap.

“Just remember, Alexis, if you ever need anyone to talk to,” Kate reminded her. “Vent to or just a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” Alexis mumbled against the fabric of Kate’s shirt.

She knew it would be a hard road, searching for her father. But at least she had people to lean on – people who cared.

* * *

 

The front door opened and Martha walked into the loft. After a long walk, which consisted mostly of just sitting on a park bench, her head was still jumbled. She thought about going down to the precinct a few times, but she didn’t want to risk halting the investigation. Not now.

She also didn’t want to get her hopes up for them to crash and burn. If there was any news – good or bad, she would have gotten a phone call.

She was exhausted – both physically and emotionally. Of course, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get to sleep. Perhaps a nice glass of wine and a hot bath would help sooth her.

She stepped further into the loft and was about to head to Richard’s room to check on Kate. The sight out of the corner of her eye caused her to stop and turn towards the couch. The sight warmed her heart.

Kate and Alexis were curled up, asleep on the couch, using the other as a pillow. At least some of them were getting some sleep.

Her sight locked on the maroon fabric that lay in their laps. It was Richard’s shirt – the one he wore to Alexis’ graduation.

She remembered that night. And even the next morning as well.

Martha walked over towards the couch; slowly reaching around the girl’s to grab the blanket on the back of the couch. She unfolded it and draped it over the two sleeping forms.

One way or another, her little family was going to get through this.

 


End file.
